


You Deserve To Be Happier

by Yayume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27361912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yayume/pseuds/Yayume
Summary: This started as a drabble for a late Day 1 submission where I am challenging myself to write using all three prompts (Longing, Fake Dating/Unrequited Love, "When did it all change?").I hope all of you enjoy it!
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Kudos: 3
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	You Deserve To Be Happier

_"When did it all change?"_

Asahi asked himself as he saw Noya walk away from him his back fading into the setting sun. Asahi's chocolate brown eyes stung realizing just what he had just done. Shoving his hands into his pant's pockets as he walked back to his house. A large sigh released from his chest as the memories flooded back...  
=================================================================================  
"Hey, Asahi!"

Noya peered over him with his signature wide smile on his lips revealing his teeth as Asahi had been taking a break from his serves sitting against the gymnasium wall. He jumped startled by Noya's voice waking him from his thoughts. His eyes had drifted over to Daichi as he practiced his receiving. As Daichi dove for a ball out of his reach, Asahi had noticed that his mouth had been open. For how long had he felt this way about Daichi? Asahi couldn't quite answer that to himself. Was it since he came back to the team this year for one last run or was it even longer? Were his feelings the reason that he had left the team? No...that cannot be it...can it?

"Oh! Hey, Noya..."

Asahi replied allowing his heartbeat to slow back to a normal level before he turned to Noya with a polite gentile smile.

"How's your new move coming? Rolling Thunder, was it?"

"Hahaha. It's ROOOOLLLLIINNGG THUUUUNNNNNDAAARRR!"

Noya yelled jumping up in the air enthusiastically thrusting one of his fists up into the air still chuckling.

"But that's beside the point."

Noyas's eyes look away from Asahi's own eyes as he continued with the question he actually wanted to ask Asahi; his right foot shuffling in front of him nervously.

"Hey 'Sashi, let's go to Coach's store after practice for a snack! I mean if you are free."

"Of course, as long as it not too long, Noya. I only have studying for entrance exams a head of me for tonight's fun activity."

Asahi chuckled one deep chuckled as he fiddled with his messy half bun.

"Sweet! How about you serve some of your crazy jump serves at the libero and then I practice some sets for you to spike?"

Noya said flashing Asahi his signature smile as he ran to the other side of the court.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"Asahi..."

Noya looked down at his own feet sucking on his popsicle instead of eating it quickly like the shorter libero usually did. 

"I...um...would you go out with me? I've liked you for a while, but when you left the team I gave up on my feelings for you. Since you returned now, I...well...I thought I might have a shot again."

It was lucky for Asahi that it was dark out because Asashi face was a dark red at Noya's question. His heart raced at the words hitting his ears. He couldn't believe what he heard. He had always known Noya to be friendly with him but he'd never expected the little libero to actually be interested in him.

"I-I-I..."

He stutters trying to answer as he saw Noya's eyes staring up at him waiting on an answer. What could Asahi say? He was actually madly in love with Daichi, but even a blind man could see that Daichi only had eyes for Suga, the silver haired setter and vice captain. The three of them had been together since their first year at Karasuno when they joined the team. That friendship was the reason that he had kept his feelings for Daichi to himself. He had hoped that he hadn't made it that obvious to anyone else. Based on Noya's question, the libero didn't know.

Asashi needed a reason to forget how he felt for Daichi, and he knew it was wrong what he was about to do, but maybe, just maybe, Noya could be the person to make him forget all about how much he longed to be closer to Daichi; held by Daichi.

"Sure...I-I-I'd love to..."

He replied heeling his cheeks warm slightly.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks passed and then years as he tried to date Noya; he really tried. The guy was super nice and affectionate towards Asahi, but when he closed his eyes, all Asahi saw was Daichi. They tried the long distance thing when Asahi moved to Tokyo and Noya had to finish his third year at Karasuno, but that if anything made his feelings for Daichi stronger. Daichi stayed back in Karasuno as well, but Asahi's mind drifted often to how Daichi was and not to his actual boyfriend, Noya. 

Guilt began eating away at Asahi as these thoughts continued. He found himself calling Noya less and blame it on his fashion school schedule. These were all things that he had never done before and he hated it. He hated himself for it.

When Noya graduated, the tiny former libero talked about exploring the world and doing things that he'd never done before. To Asahi, that all felt a little to scary and he still had to finish his final year of fashion school. Asashi did promise to join him after he graduated. Asahi could clearly see the disappointment in Noya's eyes but Noya just sighed and told Asahi that it was alright.

Noya texted him often and sent him pictures from all over. Each place looked fun, but Asahi's heart was still conflicted. He wondered why hadn't he thought about breaking off and why was he thinking about it now? Was it because just a day ago he'd received a text from Daichi. It was an old group text from when he was the captain, but still it made his heart flutter just a bit. Very unlike how Noya's texts made him feel. Noya's, he realized, made him feel like an obligation to reply to. Again the guilt continued.

Daichi's text was simple just asking everyone if they were going to come to Sendai's City Gym to watch the volleyball season opener. Daichi went on to say that Kageyama was playing and he'd also heard that Hinata was on the opposing team after returning home from Brazil. Asahi checked his schedule and replied that he'd be there.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long after that game that Asahi had finally decided to join Noya on one of his explorations in Egypt. Asahi had enjoyed seeing everyone again but there was a whole forming in his heart as he saw Suga wrap one of his arms around Daichi smiling up sweetly at the former captain and Daichi staring down at the sliver haired former vice captain with an equally warm smile. They were definitely a couple even if neither one said it outright. This was Asahi's punishment for dragging Noya along for all of these years, wasn't it?

He did have to admit that traveling with Noya was never a boring time, and he got to open himself to many new experiences. However, he still couldn't fully commit himself to Noya and that continued to hurt him, especially in the times Noya seemed to want to get more intimate with Asahi. Asahi just shied away and this created a big tension in the relationship, despite Noya seeming willing to wait for Asahi to feel comfortable with the idea.

Finally Noya had enough and that was why he finally walked away.

"I didn't want to admit it myself, Asahi, because I was scared to...but you don't love me, do you? Before you say anything, I saw the signs but ignored them all. I just feel hurt that I was your second choice."

Asahi could clearly see tears forming in the usually smiling libero and that hurt Asahi the worst knowing that he had caused someone he cared about pain. He turned his eyes down towards his feet as he rung his hands nervously still unable to reply. 

"So who was your first choice? Who is the person that you saw yourself with when you were with me? Because I only wanted you, Asahi. I had wanted you since my first year when I joined the team. Apparently, I just wasn't good enough for you..."

Tears were now falling down Noya's cheeks in jagged lines as he shook his head to try and make them stop. Asahi wanted to reach out a hand and hold Noya's cheek while his thumb wiped away Noya's tears, but they were frozen as was Asahi's whole body. He hated himself more than he had ever hated himself in this moment.

"I know what I did was wrong and terrible to you and I hate myself for it, Noya. I had hoped that one day, I could come to love you, but as time continued my feelings never waivered. I knew that the person I loved was happily taken. I knew it...I knew it, and yet...I used you. I don't expect you to forgive me Noya, but you deserve to be happier. Find someone who loves you for you. Please do that for me."


End file.
